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Comments

Josh

Holy smokes (ha ha, get it? "Holy smokes"? GET IT?), this is a fine idea. I fully plan to direct my readers here to keep them entertained during my hiatus. That should make you, if not bigger than Jesus, at least bigger than, say, Zoroaster is these days.

By the way, I'm sure Leviticus makes it *seem* that animal sacrifice and cereal sacrifice are equally pleasing the eyes of the LORD, but if you were the LORD, and you had one guy propitiating you with a bird killed by the priest's bare hands and then squeezed out onto the altar like a tube of toothpaste, and another guy trying to curry favor with some sort of saltine cracker -- well, who would YOU back up in his hour of need? I think it's pretty obvious.

jf

yellojkt

Men Without Hats big? You're selling yourself short. MWH never even had a #1 hit. Go for Dexy's Midnight Runners big.

Ol'Froth

34 waist?? You need to add at least 9 inches to be bigger than Ol'Froth! I'll buy you a beer at the next Blogfest to start you on your way.

jet

dammit dammit dammit. now i have "come on eileen, tooloorye aye, come on eileen, tooloorye aye" going thru my head.

Sarah

The only thing that would make such vital biblical analysis more riveting would be multimedia coverage of reinactments of key chapters. Bandwidth be damned!

Other_Sally

Actually, Josh is right--God wasn't too keen on vegetarians! After all the whole Cain and Abel rivalry came about because Abel (being a shepherd) sacrificed a lamb, and Cain (being a farmer) sacrified grains, and God just didn't care much for the non-bleeding sacrifice.

Nala

Sarah's onto something there! Religion just hasn't been the same since the blood sacrifices stopped.

What god wants god gets god help us all.

JCF

Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-Bennie and the Jet - ssssssssss.

susie

Oooh, oooh! Bennie and the Jets!

We have a speaker coming up who will argue that eating meat is the moral equivalent of torturing puppies. I believe I will break out the "God only wants bleeding sacrifices" argument and see how it goes over on campus.

dre

now i've got the thomas theme AND elton john battling to the death IN MY BRAIN. y'all suck.

Sylko

I always thought it was sad that God dissed Cain for offering the farmed goods.

Brucker

Cool, I'm doing a similar project for my own blog (check link), although I suspect my intentions may be different. Nonetheless, whatever your intentions, I may link to your blog simply to avoid having to summarize Leviticus in my own blog, as it's probably the most boring book in the whole Bible.

Got Fuzzy

Reminds me of my favorite West Wing episode, where Pres. Bartlet (who is the real president in my active fantasy life) lays into a gay-bashing Dr. Laura type at a White House reception. He pulls out all the juicy bits in Leviticus, which most modern moralizers skip over when cherry-picking what edicts they want to enforce, like what price should he charge for his eldest daughter, or if he should stone his brother for growing two different crops side by side or if shooting him is OK. Yep, angry, judgmental gods are the best kind of gods.

Clair the Loon

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40517

Leathermessiah

Got Fuzzy: That is possibly my favorite scene ever to have occured in the West Wing. That show is beautiful, and I'm right with you in the fantasy land where Bartlet is the real President. Sheen/Sorkin in '08: "Hell, they've already been doing it for years".

Noumenon

You need to split this post up into an introduction post and the real leviticus post so people can link directly to Part One. I actually forgot what I had been linked here to see before I got down to the Leviticus part.

Levitus_guy

Have I missed something? Not to be a pest, but hey-- how tough can it be to read Leviticus so the rest of us don't have to? Now, git crackin'.

~gloria~

Well, my friend, I do think you are funny, and I shall hereafter be a very big fan. However, I did want to tell you (yes I know it is a useless and wasted comment) that Leviticus is not about making people feel bad but keeping people healthy.

While the word "unclean" does have a certain ring of condemnation to it, it's all about making sure people don't go around infecting others. In an era of pre-pasturizationand pre- refridgeration, it was about all they could do to keep the nation of Isreal alive.

I know, I know, it really means nothing to you as you'd really like to make fun of the Bible, and I won't tell you to stop comments like:

"I think it's safe to say that Chapter 15 opens up with the single most obvious statement in the bible:

'Every man who is afflicted with a chronic flow from his private parts is thereby unclean.'

To which I can only add: 'No shit.'"

Are comic genius... still... it had to be said. And poorly. And clearly I was the one to do it. :P

Oh, and Sally, it wasn't that Cain's offering was fruits and veggies that it was acceptable, it was that it wasn't the best of his fruit. Cain was just a kind of lazy greedy type guy with a bad heart. Later on, God takes all kinds of grains and fruit and stuff as offerings proving that he is no, as once thought, a hater of all things veggie.

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